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Study: Marijuana Legalization Found to be Gateway Reform

Washington, DC – As local activists campaigned to pass marijuana legalization in 2014, proponents of the ballot initiative claimed there was no truth to the theory that marijuana is a “gateway drug.” While that may be true, a new study sponsored by the Hewlett Foundation released Monday morning has shown that marijuana legalization is a “gateway reform,”…

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Vincent Gray Practicing Bitchy Salutations in the Mirror

Hillcrest – Former DC Mayor Vincent Gray, who federal prosecutors announced last month would not be charged with a crime related to the 2010 shadow campaign funded by businessman Jeffrey Thompson, has spent the last few weeks practicing bitchy salutations to his political enemies in the mirror. The confrontational greetings, which range from oblique references…

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Kenyan McDuffie to Court Uninformed Irish Vote

North Capitol Street – Though Ward 5 Councilmember Kenyan R. McDuffie will not be up for re-election until 2018, the politician, who has emerged as a persistent critic of Mayor Muriel Bowser, is taking no chances on his next campaign. Sources close to McDuffie report that in advance preparation for a likely primary challenge by…

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All DC Residents Transient When They Really Think About It

Washington, DC – The District of Columbia, historically marked by an antagonism between native residents and transient professionals cycling in and out of the city, experienced a rare harmony and sense of togetherness this morning after its inhabitants realized in unison that, in a way, they are all transient residents. The realization, which speaks to…

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Pepco Cuts Electricity Until Merger Approved

Washington, DC – Saying it is happy to attend any future regulatory meetings by candlelight, Pepco announced today that it has cut off electricity to the city until its merger with Exelon is approved. While the tactic is controversial, the company says they were given no other choice. “Look, we’re a $6 billion dollar company.…